Yesterday really hit me hard. It was a stark reminder that I have cancer and I am going through treatment. It was one of the roughest days I have had in a while. Melanie and the boys left for camping on Thursday night so I was by myself and was not feeling great at the end of the day on Thursday and went to bed early just after 9:00am. My appointment was at 9:30 which meant that I had to finish eating and drinking by 7:30. In order to make sure that I had a full stomach I had to start eating at 6:30. In the past I do not like eating first thing in the morning. It never made me feel good. My migraine pills lower my blood pressure and when I woke up at 6am I was a bit dizzy and lightheaded but decided to take my migraine pills anyway. Given the choice between migraines and side effects from cancer treatment, I would take cancer treatment any day of the week. Migraines are that much worse. When I was undergoing radiation treatment I had told the team that I was not feeling well and we discussed migraines. They had told me that this was not the first time they had heard this. I made arrangements to not have any more appointments at 9:30 or before 10am. I can not handle it. Even now I strongly dislike taking the oral chemo pills. I do not like having a full stomach as it makes things uncomfortable. I need to drink a lot of water with the pills. I realized that I have now developed an aversion to the oral chemo pills.
Driving into the hospital and returning was a bit rough. Moving around and sitting up was difficult. I had intended to work after treatment but that was not a possibility at all. This is when I feel quite lucky. Right now it is quite busy at work with some major work we have going on. When informing my boss I was not feeling well everyone is more concerned with my health and tell me to rest. I ended up sleeping most of the day. I got up to eat and to attend some meetings, but for the most part I slept all day long. I can prevent nausea by meditating and concentrating. I can not stop the dizziness. Being alone in the house helped. It was quiet and I could just rest.
On the first day we went in for an oral teach. The nurse that instructed us was one that I had before and we had chatted during my chemo treatment. When she saw that it was me she was happy that she was going to have a fun morning. So far with most of the staff most remember me because of some interactions that we have and it has been a relatively fun experience. I have been memorable enough that I leave an impression.