I had treatment today and had a special request to have a power port inserted so that I could use that up in CT. Normally I try and bring treats for them in these situations and Mel will go grab them for me at times. I appreciate that Mel does not care too much when I buy random gifts of appreciation. I use to spend my own money when I was at Vale as well. Mel will on occasion do things for her team and I always ask her if she is paying out of pocket. A lot of time she will use an internal budget but I told her who cares if she wants to splurge and use our own money. It probabky violates a lot more guidelines if you use your own money, but I do not like limitations like that when you are trying to do a nice gesture. The importance of what you get is more important than dollar value. Typing has been tough tonight, as initially the screen was all blurry but it has stabilized. The neuropathy in my hands are bad in the sense that they are all tingly and i seem to be missing keystrokes. I can normally type quite quickly but I think that right now I am hitting 30 words per minute or abput 25% of what I can normally do. I do find it amusing though how something so minor as treatment day can have such an impact. Once we came back I went to sleep and was in bed until 3pm where I then got up to eat. The steroids are supposed to stimulate your appetite but it seems that I can actually eat more today. I am not sure exactly why, but I was eating a fair bit every couple of hours and my tastebuds have not been shot yet. My parents brought dumplings and they changed something up, Mel thinks that the sauce has a grittier sugar. Xavier liked these ones better, and I have not actually chatted with Olivier as of yet. He will tell me his thoughts about it though. I am going to make some more food for myself soon so I can eat in a bit and I feel very tired so I will try and go to bed a bit earlier with my sleeping pills. Interestingly my typing is getting a bit better right now as the night progresses and the vision is getting better. The cancer treatment rooms are so cold that i brought in an extra blanket and I think it helped, but I am not 100% sure. I told Mel that I wanted to bring in my heated socks but she thinks it is a bad idea as it might make the neuropathy worse. I might bring my shawl next time to drape over my shoulders next week. I had a friend offer to come visit me in the room today, but after the CT i was so tired I feel asleep and I found out afterwads I was only getting 1 drug so going home as soon as that one drug was done.
As I was preparing for bed I struggled a bit. I was tired and had difficulty moving and just operating as a whole. What it made me realize though is that when these instances come up I need to make sure that it does not dominate my thoughts. I normally nap with my earbuds and when I put them in I sometimes struggle and drop them as info not have a lot of sensation as my fingers are tingling. My hands are cold from the cancer center and dexterity is a bit compromised. All I need to do though to rectify this is make sure my hands are warm, but I am so cold that I just want to crawl into bed and sleep. When I struggle it is a bit depressing and I question how will I keep this up. When I wake up refreshed and I am fine and those concerns are all gone. Fatigue leads to such a cognitive decline and lack of energy and motivation plays such a large factor. Once I start to do things though your energy levels start to increase more. I am watching something on YouTube and they are talking about Chinese Restaurants and they mention that food is love. The comedian is saying that in Western culture they depict that being in the kitchen is stressful, but Asian culture it is not. I think it will take another 10 minutes to cook my potatoes and then I will take my pills and then bed time for me.
QHM