Reading some of the writing from the last couple of entries, it seems odd that I did not pick up on this early. It looks obvious that something was going on when you know what happens at the end. The boys have had quite the last couple of years. They are very gentle with me now and I have been hospitalized several times. We try and keep their lives normal and give them experiences. Xavier is keeping his regular hockey schedule with the assistance of people.
He has always wanted to be a goalie, but he was not a natural talent. He is interesting because he goes through the motions a lot and then one day of clicks and he excels. He has connected really well with his private goalie coach. His coach he has now is not the coach he was supposed to have. His first private lesson the coach did not show up and we ended changing his schedule to the one he has now. Xavier tends to be shy and introverted. It took years before he spoke to coaches. He bonded right away with this one. They use to do math problems on the ice during practice. The coach taught Xavier to use his size and play positional. He tends to not make a lot of acrobatic saves but is always in the right position. This year things have really clicked and he wants to play extra and practice. Driving home from practice he reflected on his weaknesses and said that he had to work on being more patient and just one or two big things and then it was just little things to improve. I thought that this was an interesting chat for a couple reasons. My parents taught us growing up that success was driven by effort and every mistake you made was a learning opportunity to not make it again. Xavier has goalie training 1:1 and with a group. I informed him in the group session he might be more experienced so try hard and be a good example. He takes things like that serious so he makes sure he is good. During practice with his team now he has a different focus. In the past he would not always try and now he sees it as an opportunity to make small improvements. Right now his team is not very good and shots on goals is on a regular basis 40+ to less than 8. His attitude is he is going to get a shutout and they will win. He says before each have the power of suggestion. He has done it before. We lost to a team 6-5 and were going to play them the next day. Before the game he told me he was going to get a shut out in a determined voice. He did. He played phenomenonal. He has glimpses of this now where he focuses and plays an amazing stretch. His coach has helped shape his approach and style and even though he is not a natural talent he will excel because of his drive and his ability to learn and adapt. If his original coach showed up things would have turned out different.
Olivier is so much different. Where Xavier succeeds because he learns quickly and adapts through hard work, Olivier figures out ways to cheat or instinctual. My sister has an insane work ethic, Xavier is like her. I tried to get by on natural ability and Olivier takes after me. He also entertains himself on his own. He has looked up drawing tutorials on YouTube and had started drawing quietly. It was always interesting with him because if it was too quiet it was worrisome. He has made some really nice drawings. He will take his tablet to the arena and draw there sometimes. Him and his friends organized themselves to go trick or treating at Halloween together. He is far more social than his brother. The quirks that they both have are interesting. Olivier has planned out his gifts for the next 3 years and it is a combination of ridiculous and regular. His brother stresses out about making choices. I watch YouTube videos about food and he always wants to try it. He will go on Pinterest on Mel’s phone and pin recipes for her to make him.
This week when I have been in the hospital, Mel has spent a lot of time with me. Our families have helped a lot. We try and keep things normalized by keeping the routine going as best as we can. The kids have been fantastic as they know I am going through this. We do not raise the kids on our own. We rely on everyone and it is like the saying it takes a village to raise a child. Our kids are surrounded by positive role models and with the support structure we have it is easy to be positive.
Everything this year has been a test of resilency. The kids have been awesome. Everyone has their role to play and everyone has stepped up to help consistently. Some times all it takes is a kind word here or there. In the last week right before this all happened there was a great outpouring of love. It makes instances when things go bad easier to deal with because you know no matter how bad things get the support from family and friends will get us through it. Besides it was only brain surgery. We went into 2021 with a dramatic flair of cancer, we need to finish strong.