I am still recovering from this weekend it seems as I am still having some difficulty with textures and eating. I have reverted my soft food diet which has helped out a lot with thing. I am drinking a lot of soup but certain textures still throw me off and I have not tastes anymore. We bought the Costco pack of corn nuts that has. salty ones and bags that are sweet, but no one in th family likes the sweet ones, so Xavier told Mel to feed it to me because I can not taste anything. Olivier was not feeling well this morning as he had a migraine so he stayed home. During the afternoon I wanted to make a smoked fish dip to eat because it is a soft textture. I had some with some baguette chips but I can not taste any of it, so I am no sure how it is. I gave a piece to Olivier and he loved it and said that it was perfect the way it was. I dearly love my parents, but they are extremely bad at listening to instructions about food and always try to sneak in things. As both Olivier and I were not feeling well, we asled them to bring food to our place, which they did. I had spoken to my mom earlier and had asked for a. simple. chicken broth, as she nornally makes a delicious one that has soe sweatness to it. I told her that I did not want meat or vegetables and she told me that she would add ginger. I told her explicitly not to add ginger because I can not handle it in a soup. She told me it was jutst a bit and whes she brought it over I could smell and taste the ginger and it is si exrenely offputting for me. I tried to mask it by using a lot of Maggi seasoning, way more than I shiuld be using, but it did not help. This is sumilar to when I had asked for clams in black bean sauce and they decided that steaming them with tea leaves would be a nice additon. It might be for others, but sometimes I want the comfort of very specific thingss, so I said that they could bring plain congee and salted egg. Those are two things that are more difficult to add extra things to as it is so plain.
This morning Mel called the cancer center and reached out to our friend and everyone said that I had to go in for bloodwork and to chat with the doctor. I have been so tired the last two days that it is not something that I wanted to do at all. Last night I had taken a sleeping pill hoping that I could sleep through the night but I still got up at 4 and 5am to go to the washroom. Mel also seems to think that I am not. going to the washroom enough but right now I think I am goimg about 8 times a day. I need to clear a lot of the chemicals in my body. The last two days have been very comfortable for me, but they are starting to get better now. Energy depletion is still a bit of a concern and I can see it subconsciously as I will wait until the absolute last minute to move out of my chair or my bed. I need to mentally and consciouslly prepare for it. When I saw my usual lab tech fod blood work, she looked at my arm and questioned what they were doing and why they kept on trying the same vein when there were so many nice ones. I love how great she is and how painless it is with her. We eventually. saw my oncologist after we had spoken to a nurse and a resident. The concensus is that they do not really know what is causing the temperature to spike and even continue, but we will be changing it up for this week. He asled if I wanted to skip and I said no, we can see if we are given the antibiotic on its own whether I have a reaction or not. I want the data point to better understand things to better understand what is the cause. of all this. The team is going to be checking with the pharmacy to. see if the drug has alcohol or not and get back to us. When Mel and I were in the waiiting room we also realized that this year I may not be able to attend hockey tournaments if this occurs, and we will need to figure something out because I can not be left home alone either. I am sure that another parent on the team would take him, but Xavier would want his own room so he has peace and quiet and I think we could arrange it. The last two days have been very difficult for me with the level of fatigue that I have had, but it is not insurmountable. I think it is an accumulation of the lack of sleep from Saturday. I can overcome this part. The doctor had mentioned that this chemo treatment impacts my bone marrow and I mentioned that is where the fatigue comes from, deep within my bones like someone sucking the energy out. Wonderful experience, highly recommend it if you want to know what it feels like to get drained of energy. My dearest Mel has been trying to help me out with some meals and it has been quite the debacle. The tofu was a bit shredded so it changes the flavour and texture. I showed her how you need to do it so it is not like that afterwards. For years she has also made me cream of wheat and this time it was so bad. It is hard to say if it was her making it or me as it was extremely creamy which I did not appreciate and there are chunks in there like cake, clumping of the materials.
I am quite lucky that i have someone like Mel in my life that will constantly ignore what I say and look out for my best interests whether I want it or not. She rearranged her day to accommodate me and even went out searching for some food that I might want. On the list I had wanted English muffins to have it with honey, peanut butter and a banana. I also requested chocolate pudding and tiramisu. She got all of that, and she even gote an assortment of chips even though we have 5 bags downstairs. We generally do not go through bags quickly so now we have a lot, but they are flavours that she thought I might like. The only thing missing from the shopping list and I do not even know if I can eat it right now is tourtiere. It is too late in the evening to go ask French Canadian grandmothers for one otherwise I am sure that she would. Driving home from the hospital I told her I had a craving for KFC chicken and she asked why. I have no clue, but I also know that I will not be able to eat it right now. I think I am just craving salt at the moment. I am soaking in the bathtub now to warm up and then I will have some chocolate pudding and whipped cream. When I weighed myself this evening I have noticed that my weight has increased to 147. It is a bit of a concern as it suggests potential ascites build up so I will need to monitor it. If it hits 150 in the next couple of days I will request to get drained again. I think that what I appreciate the most about Mel is all of the things that she does I’m the background that I may not be aware of. Telling my nurses of what I am or am not doing and trying her best to make my life easier. When I am not doing well I think it has a bigger impact on her because she feels helpless that she can not help me out more. We have said chocolate mousse helps but she does not want to make that again. I think that any small thing she does help, because not everyone gets even a tenth of what she provides me.
Quoc Hao