Things are starting to return back to normal a bit more. I slept well last night and only got up because Xavier was sick. He ended up projectile vomiting liquid all over the hallway and was so dizzy that he was on his hands and knees in the mess. Luckily I can not really help out with any of that so Mel won the job of getting to help him up and clean him up. He ended up not going to school today and I think that he spent most of the day in his room recovering. Mel and I were up for about an hour while she cleaned up and I gave her moral support by saying go team go. I am pretty sure that the successful cleanup was because of me. Mel was busy with a lot of things last night and we had forgotten to start the dishwasher, so I got up and did that. That was my contribution to household chores for the night. Xavier is awesome in his routines and ever since he was super young he has always emptied out his lunch when he got home. Olivier not so much and he ended up having to do it this morning. Mel ended up having to wash some of his things this morning and she rushed through it all and had to go off to work. My bottle emptied quite fast and it was ready at 7am this morning. When I arrived at the hospital today, registration was empty and I was able to get through that instantly as I was the only one. I had a chat with the clerks as the ones there I knew and I mentioned that I felt for them because they had such a rough day on Wednesday. They agreed and said it was tough and it happens at times. When I got to Chemo, I was surprised as it took an hour to even get through there to get in. The room was packed with people and I did not know a lot of the nurses there. The person whom I had to remove the bottle is actually related to some of Mel’s closest friends and the procedure happened fairly quickly. It is interesting that the side of my body is a bit sensitive today and I can feel the muscles along the side of my body where the port is. I am not sure if I strained something or not, but I can feel the muscles by my armpit. It does not hurt, but it is a discomfort.
The neuropathy in my hands has been improving, but my wonderful palliative supportive care team is going to be giving me some medication to hopefully help out with reducing the nerve sensations. They sent in the prescription and I will go pick it up and give it a try. We will see what whether it helps or not. Trying to arrange dinner in anothe city amongst 4 families is tricky. Two of us will be in Toronto for something in late June, but it was not ideal for some, so we adjusted the dates to Mid July. I think that I want to try and do something special for Mel during this time. She may read this and it will ruin the surprise or someone might mention it to her, but she has no clue what I may do so it will still be a surprise. She deserves something nice for everything that she has had to deal with over the last year. Maybe she would want a drone or a 3D printer. It is something that she has spoken about a lot, about not bringing them into the house. I think that she is bluffing and that she would appreciate them. Olivier wants to have a movie night today and watch Adam Project after Mel and him do some gardening work. He said it is ok if Xavier or I do not watch as he is aware that Xavier does not enjoy sitting there watching movies and that on Friday evenings after my treatment that I am often tired and may not want to watch a movie. The kids understand that my treatment has an impact on me and will adjust.
Tomorrow morning Mel and I will go to the market and take a look at getting some plants. I think that it would also be nice to drive out to Naughton and potentially get some dwarf apple trees to plant and then in a couple of years we can have some apples. We had planted some new plants next year and will get some more fruit within the next couple of years. I would also like to get some mushrooms from the Ugly Barn and make something delicious with it. The kids like it when we get mushrooms and make a pasta with them or have mushroom omelettes. As we just had some omelettes I think that we will make a nice cream sauce with the mushrooms or I will see what else I can think of. We may be able to get some other ingredients as well. We do buy the enoki mushrooms, I batter them lightly and we have them with noodles to give a crispy addition to it.
Today I had one of my former co-workers go to the hospital with me for my disconnect. I chatted with him about work as well as leaderships and support from managers. He says that his current manager is supportive of workload and when he tells him timelines to do things, but what he does not necessarily manage well is when he gets to the point where the workload is too much. With my current team it is something that I worry about as well. It is a common trend I see amongst some of my direct reports where their mental state is an afterthought and people do not necessarily put much focus on it. I llike having morning touchpoints with my team so I can see them and gauge their mental state. I need to see a visual and how they respond and act and hopefully I can read some of the unspoken words and signs to try and help them out. I think that I can do a good job of anticipating problems before they happen and redirect their workload or have a chat with them to alleviate some of their stress and issues before they become a problem. A lot of times they can deal with the workload and it is not too heavy, but it is their approach and the stress of whether they are right or not. Confidence is something that is lacking or times, or the feeling that they have not been heard. That is something that I try and work on with my team as they need to interact with others. How do you present things confidently. This is generally with the younger generation and i work on boosting their confidence.
Leadership is often described as setting direction, making decisions, and holding people accountable. As much as those things matter, I think a lot of leadership comes down to paying attention. People will often tell you what is wrong if you listen carefully enough, but sometimes they do not have the words for it yet. Sometimes it shows up in hesitation, frustration, silence, or a lack of confidence. The challenge is not always solving the problem. The challenge is noticing it before it becomes one. As things slowly return to normal, I am reminded that many of the important parts of life are like that as well. The people around us are constantly telling us how they are doing, not always with words, but through their actions, routines, and small changes in behaviour. We just need to pay attention long enough to see it.
Q