Today was a bit of a debacle for our abandoned child. Xavier had ice time but I was not able to drive him, so we dropped off his equipment at the training centre and then at my parents. Except they were not home, but luckily my sister was and she let him in. Afterwards I picked him up and brought him back as I was a bit busy. He had a shooter there and he knew a lot of kids that were around. It was interesting to hear the opinions of other parents who asked where he was playing, and the shock that he was not playing rep. A parent who has a son that is older that played a high level said that Xavier at his current age was better than her son are the same age, which amused me as her son was quite good. He has built up quite a lot of resilience over his career as a goalie playing rep hockey. Especially considering that I was told that goalies were always chosen without an evaluation and signed prior to tryouts. He was never discouraged nor cared what the skill levels were of the other goalies, he never said a disparaging word or thought about the other kids. His comparison has always been to himself. I never cared nor tried to advocate for him, though I know that a lot of parents of players have. Mel was a bit annoyed that he did not shower and he did not bring clothing. Xavier’s defense was he did not know what the plan was. There was no plan and we were playing it by ear. I had an appointment and did not have time to drive him home and then back before my appointment. Olivier had asked for a sleepover and he had hung out with his cousins today and was dropped off at my parents place. He likes havinhg sleep overs when my sister is there because they do things together. Olivier wanted to make cheese, and Mel was bright enough to volunteer my sister to help him out with it.
I have not weighed myself today but my food intake has been pretty stable and I can eat the same amount that I normally do. In an awesome development, I have very little neuropathy in my hands and my bowel movements are qutie regular. When my sister stopped by on her way here from Toronto, she came with her tardy friend. Her friend asked her if she should mention the cancer or not and my sister said that is a conversation killer and to just ignore it or give some stupid remark about it. I totally agree, she could have pretended that she did not know or anything like that. If she asked me about the cancer or said sorry about it, I would have most likely feigned that I was not aware that I had cancer and break down in tears. My sister has lovely friends and there is one that sees me at the hospital and says hi. She has told my sister she has seen me and that I did not seem to recognize her. My sister is 100% right, I have met so many people and have taught so many people at the University that I do not always remember who they are. When I saw them, they looked familiar but I could not place where they were from. I have worked with a doctor that I taught statistics to in University and I did not really recognize them. I put it together when he said he remembered me and then I went and looked up his grades. He was an ok student, which is why I did not remember him. I only remember the top and bottom students. While driving home with Xavier this evening I asked him if any of his friends took drugs or smoked and he seemed quite offended by the question. He seemed apalled that I woud think that he would hang around people that would do that. I also do not think that he will be much of a drinker and in the truck he told me that he is never going to drink or even try it. Coming from him, I believe his resolution in the matter. I have seen him set his mind on something and follow through. I am interested to see what happens and if he will keep his promise with that or not.
I know people that are going through cancer and have met a lot of people at the cancer center going through it. Everyone has different experiences and some of it is a bit jarring when it first happens to you. I remember what it felt like the first time I was showering and clumps of hair were falling out. The doctors tell you that it is a possibility, but it is difficult to prepare for or to understand when it happens. The scalp is sensitive, and it is not a pleasant experience. I have spoken to people who have had ports or picc lines and we share different stories and techniques on how to make things easier. I bought a shirt that unzips down from the collar to the armpit and it makes it so much easier for the nurses to access the port as you do not need to pull down your shirt and hold it. For the PICC line they give you a crappy mesh arm band to help hold parts of the PICC line in place. I had purchased all sorts of athletic sleeves and wore those instead. They are smooth and do not get caught on anything. With the patients we have discussed what we can or can not eat and different techniques for that. While eating at my parents I told them that the texture of the meat and a lot of the meat that they were preparing did not have a good hard sear and it was a very soft texture. My mother told me that was intentional and anything that was slightly burnt or charred she cut off so I could not eat it, She told me that I could get cancer from it, which I reminded her that I already have cancer. Char and burn it so it has a better texture so I can eat it. Mel and Xavier were making fun of me and said that when i eat sometimes I have such a look of disgust on my face, but I eat through it anyway. Xavier tried to mimic what I looked like, which was a look of disappointment with a scowl. That is my resting face.
It is interesting to see the impact that you have one people whether it is intentional or not. I was telling Xavier that when I had chatted with a lot of his friends they all told me how they all thought he was so smart and that he was one of the smartest kids that they knew. He mentioned that a bunch of his friends were strong in varioud things, and one of his friends who skipped a grade was strong in everything. It was interesting to hear what he thought was his distinguishing factor tat differentiated him from his friends. He told me that he was more creative and could come up with all sorts of solutions to things. Xavier told me that when he was growing up that whenever he played with either myself or my sister we forced him to adapt as we would not allow some of his conditions. He had to come up with some new rule because we would not let him use certain rules or make it so that it ruined things for him, such as my instant death chicken. In order to play with us in these games, he had to always come up with more creative rules and situations. With people that report to me I always want to push them beyond their own capabilities. I will challenge their thoughts and try to get them to become more creative. I think it is important to show them different possibilities but let them figure out how to get there on their own. It is one of the traits of people who have worked for me for a long time, the other is confidence bordering on arrogance. My sister made a comment about that, as I have a reputation for it. I pointed out that Xavier also had my sisters genetic makeup for hard work.
Olivier is a massive pain in the ass for choosing clothing. He does not like anything, so Mel had the bright idea of getting custom shirts for him. Most of the times we will get him a Copper Park Hoppers shirt which he loves to wear. We told him that we could get him some and put my company logo on it. This is important as he does not want to look like an NPC and wear blank shirts. He did not like this idea and was so stressed out about it. We told him we could put whatever he wanted on the shirt and he hated this idea. So much difficulty from this child. We told him that he can go buy his own clothing now. Mel taught the boys how to do their own laundry this summer, and now they will wash their own clothes, fold it and put it a;; away. They know how to cook, clean and do laundry and I am pretty sure Mel is prepping to ship them off as soon as possible. We will send Xavier to a private boarding school down south where he can play hockey and focus on academics. We can ship off Olivier to Sweden above the Artic Circle where it is cold and he can code from there. I am pretty sure that this is Mel’s gameplan and it sounds awesome.
Q