What I struggle with the most is loss of control. When I have bad days like I did yesterday it bothers me because I struggle to overcome some of the setbacks. I like to be in control and can develop contingency plans for most, but when I do not have any, then I find it extremely tough. A lot of the symptoms that I had yesterday were side effects of the injection that I had on Saturday and there is not much that you can do about it. I do not recall it being that bad, but the last time I had the WBC properly injected it was prior to Spain. The feeing of hopelessness is difficult and it bothers me when I can not figure out a way out of it. Today is much better though. I am very tired today, but that could be because I did not sleep well last night. The other symptoms are much more manageable and the only thing that is worse is the neuropathy. I have avoided touching cold things as my hands have been tingling more today then they did yesterday. i ordered more gloves today as the ones that I do have will get dirty from me using them in the kitchen I wear nitrile gloves over them, but I can still feel the cold a bit and it is not pleasant. I get Mel and the kids to help out with some of the food prep in these instances.
This morning I had my PET scan and they could not use my port to give me the injection, and had to give me an IV instead. I knew the person giving me the IV and she did a wonderful job that was painless. I was told that the PET scan results are quick and I know the doctor who is going to take a look at it. I can talk to him if I have any questions, but he tends to go off on a tangent and is very chatty. He taught me 30 years ago in University and every once in aw while we get into chats. He is an avid biker and I use to see him out biking on occasion. On my way out of diagnostic imaging I stopped by the administration corridor and saw some of the old people that I knew. One of them did not recognize me as I am now 100 pounds lighter. When she heard me talking to the others though she came out and said hi. I still have a lot of fond memories of when I worked there. We had a good team and I worked with a lot of good people. There are also a lot of ridiculous things that we did and since I was almost always the first one in I got to be a bit silly before people came in. I am sure that I shared this before, but Everything is awesome was the theme song that I use to play every morning until someone complained that they were sick of the song. When I was visiting one of my friends i the hospital she showed me some of the things that they were told to do for their 1:1 sessions and some of them were giving out these buttons with inspirational messages, or questions to ask the team. When reading them, they seemed so artificial and fake. If my manager asked me some of those questions I do not think I would appreciate it. Some of the questions are fine if they come up organically, but leading with some of the suggestions makes it seem like you are going through the motions and do not care. My friend thought the same thing. I remember when she was first starting out and she was a young supervisor and at the time I thought that she had so much potential to be a great manager. When I saw her today all I see is the young 20 year old just starting out. She barely looked like she has aged. i know I am getting old when everyone seems like a kid to me. I have had emplpyees where I am the same age as their parents and it always amuses me because I forget how old I am at times.
As the evening has gone on, my energy levels have increased. I just finished having a double affogato, as it is one of my favorite drinks at times. Last night I made some bread pudding with some left over croissants and the kids ate it all so this evening I made some more. It will not last long as something that could be 4 servings will be one small portion for me and 2 large portions for each of the kids. I am glad that they do like it because it is a dessert that I do enjoy and if they like it then I can make it more often. I do ike to use brioche bread as well, but the croissants are delicious to use with it. We wemt to my parents for dinner and they ended up making two dinners because they thought that the kids would not like the main dinner. They made the kids udon noodles and a homemade broth with chicken and served that to them first and then they made the main dinner. When the main dinenr came out both kids said that they actually preferred what was made. It is a rice dish and you cover it with meat. I am not sure exactly what it is called but it is a combination of tomatoes, red onions, beef in a a thick sauce and with all of the liquid you then add in eggs, so it is like egg drop. You have it with some soy sauce and it is delicious. When we were young my dad use to make it for a quick dinner and I asked him to make it for us again a couple of years ago so he has added it to the rotation. This afternoon my parents sent a photo to Mel asking her if she wanted the Maison Perrier water and she said yes. Silly Mel, she forgot rule #1. Specify that you only want 1. When we arrived they had bought 6 cases because obviously if you like it, buy the max.
I am recovering well now and tomorrow things should be back to normal. Mel thinks that I may be developing a rash with the skin around my port implant, so I should put some of my medicated cream on it. Cognitively I am much better now compared to earlier but I am quite fatigued physically still. This morning at the hospital I walked 1000 steps and close to 1km, which is my limit. I think that coupled with my fasting drained me a bit. When my mother saw me at dinner she thinks that I have lost some weight, which is what Mel said as well. It might be the case, but it happens often when my eating routine gets disrupted for a day. I think tomorrow will be back to normal now.
QHM