Bright and early tomorrow morning I have my CT scan. The purpose is to see if there is any more bleeding and how everything is healing up. I think that it is fine as I have not had any symptoms so I do not think that there will be anything alarming on the scans. I could be wrong however as statistically I am wrong about everything when it comes to my health. I am really bad at evaluating how I am doing. It took me months for the pancreatitis, and a long time for ulcers and then concussions and bleeding. There has not been any symptoms really since I left the hospital. I am starting to do a bit more but so far when there are things I can manage to compensate. Next week I have an appointment with the neurosurgeon again and we will see how things are. Hopefully it is all clear and I will not need to see the neurosurgeon again. I have not heard about my heart so I am assuming that at this point everything is fine with that. My weight is slowly increasing a pound or two a day right now. I am trying to eat rich high caloric food. I need to eat more still though. I do find it a bit tiring when I am full, I can not do much and move around a lot. The one good thing now is that I can eat a mini DQ blizzard right now. My food intake is slowly increasing. Health wise I feel fantastic and it makes me wonder why I did not go in earlier. Mentally it is better but I feel that I need to catch up to my normal self. The past year it has been slow down and heal, and I got use to that, but I miss some of the faster paced things. Cognitively it is slowly getting better, but I know it is not 100% yet because in the past whenever I read things I can see the next steps to evolve it and push it further.
There are some personality traits of mine that I see in Xavier and it may or may not be a good thing. I have said in the past that my parents are quite critical and all they focus on are mistakes and what we can do to improve and not make the same mistakes. When I watch Xavier play all I can focus on are the goals he lets in and sometimes I forget about a lot of the good saves he has made during the game. Xavier will tell me a mix of both but we do talk about what he could have done differently to stop a shot. During his practices with other goalies he focuses on what the coaches say and what they say to other goalies. Other goalies play pass with each other and they try and engage Xavier to pass with him. He will as long as the puck reaches him. If the person passing the puck does not reach him and is close, he will ignore it and listen to the coach talk to the goalie practicing. He has determined focus and is more concerned with learning and getting better as opposed to playing around. Before each game he says he is going to get a shut out and is positive in his thinking. After most games he is a bit cranky. I do not think it is because his team lost or he let goals in, but because he is fatigued. He does not blame his team but his focus is on getting better. It is a trait that has been passed down from my parents, just like giving random amounts on gift cards.
With this cancer or the myriad of things that happened this year I do not worry about what I could have done differently, but focus on how do I move forward with this. A lot of the problems I had prior to the concussion have gone away now as my body has adjusted to losing all of that weight and my new blood pressure levels. One thing I do reflect back on though is the development of my support system.
When I first met Mel’s extended family it was around Easter I believe or some event where her aunt and uncle came up to visit. I have a strong dislike when people touch me, something that my friends have abused over the years. The first time I met her uncle from down south he gave me a big bear hug. I only dropped by for a couple of minutes as I was running an experiment and had to get back to the lab. The one thing I remember is her uncle telling me that I have to go help them move houses. A couple of months later we ended up going to help them move. I do not remember seeing much of Mel during that time as we did different tasks. I spent hours of the day running around getting things and bought the apple tree for their house. From the first time I met them they welcomed me to their family. That year for Christmas I went down to Toronto to buy a Christmas gift for Mel. What I did that year was give her a gift every day for 12 days. I can not remember all of the different things I purchased but they all had to do with numbers and there was a huge combination of things. When walking into the stores and I was asked if I needed help I ended up with everyone helping me out when I told them what I was doing. I ended up staying a night over at her aunt and uncles without her. I took her cousins shopping with me when buying things for Mel. I appreciate that they welcomed me into their home and insisted that I stay with them. I have ended up staying with them numerous times and with some of her other aunts and uncles without her. I appreciate that I have built a relationship with her family where it is not awkward to spend time with them without her around.
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