There are so many small things that you take for granted as easy to do until it is difficult. Right now with my blood pressure low, I need to slowly get up and make sure that I can physically stand up without feeling too weak. My bladder is a bit messed up right now where it seems that I need to go to the washroom every hour, so in the middle of the night I need to carefully evaluate if I can stand and then go. It seems so simple in practice to just get up and go to the washroom without much thought. I am quite lucky that I get to work from home because of how strict of a routine that I have right now. I need to do my rinse every hour, which I do on the half hour and then I need to also try and either eat or drink pretty consistently. It would be difficult if I had to be in the office as there is quite the routine that occurs. Eating is getting a bit better and when I do eat solid foods what I will do is take some lidocaine to freeze my mouth to make it a bit easier. For soups and soft food it is not as much of an issue, but these are small things that I need to consider when I am eating now as opposed to before where it was a free for all. Certain thing I can taste, such as coconut and seasame. There is an Asian dessert that I love which is black seasame with peanut butter which I can taste, which is a nice change from all of the muted flavours that I am eating right now. I go through the motions of eating but it is hard to enjoy the food when you can not taste it. Tonight for dinner is congee again which I love, and i think that for tomorrow’s lunch I am going to try and make some risotto, which is along the same lines.
i am not sure why, but I have noticed that the Sudbury Star has been sending feeds lately about GoFundMe and people raising money for different causes. There was one about someone who had died and raising money to help out with that or another with a family looking for money for other things. I had a friend stop by this morning and we were chatting about being a genuine and kind person. How reading the news is always so depressing and the impact that social media has on people. If you live your life trying to compete with others and see the artificially curated life of influencers on social media thing can be difficult. You should live your life and be genuine with people. Be kind, treat them well, not with the expectation of getting something in return but because that is who you are. It comes back 10x as is evident from the results of our GoFundMe. My generation is interesting that we had the cross over from internet availabilty and limited access to information to a free for all now to so much information. Our kids do not understand that information was not always available and that we would not have instant access to friends or information. We had home phone lines and cell phones were not as widespread.
Mel recorded everything that I have eaten today and she is rather impressed with the sheer amount of food. By the time I have gone to bed I will have eaten approximately 10 portions of food that is much higher than I have had in the past. I have felt good throughout but not crazy full or anything. The fatigue is a bit of an issue and I realized this evening that I am struggling a bit mentally with the routine because I am not actually enjoying the food but going through the motions. I get up, do work and eat and then at the end of the evening it is waiting for the next day. When we have visitors it is more entertaining, but with hockey winding down it is interesting. I would like to do a bit more as my muscles atrophy and movements are a struggle. Hopefully with some of the modifications that the doctor will do with my next round of chemo the impact will not be as detrimental.
Q