We just finished our appointment with the oncologist and there is not really any new information. Mel is sitting beside me so she might sneak some glances over at what I am writing. There was no new information really but we discussed what the options were. The doctor recorded the sessions for transcription so I had to be on my best behavior. The tumour board did not have any GI surgeons last week so they were not able to discuss my case. It was primarily breast and they will discuss it next week.
The issue is that the surgeon does not necessarily see the point in doing this as it may impact my quality of life. This is categorized as stage 4 cancer and his perception is that it has spread so this will not benefit me. That said even if they do the surgery, there is the risk that they can not close it completely and there would then be a festering wound there that will never close. The other option is the stereotactic radiosurgery where the risk is creating a hole in my bowel, which would then require emergency surgery if it was ruptured. In any case there are risks associated with the surgery. If anything bad happens with either then there is a major impact on my quality of life. At least there is a game plan moving forward. Treatment will start in approximately a week and a half. The discussion on Wednesday with all of the surgeons will be whether it is worth it to do, or if the risks outweigh the benefits. Either way I will be getting some sort of a surgery. We had discussed the option of finding a doctor down south, that will be dependent upon what the panel of doctors here say. If the stereotactic is the safer route than that is what we will end up doing. It seems that my friend is now the lead on this and he will give me a call after they meet on Wednesday. It is nice to have contacts that care. Mel asked a bunch of questions, but I do not remember what she asked so I can not relay them. I could ask her, but that seems like a lot of effort. Right now she is busy spending money at Sephora.
Someone asked me if the titles meant anything. They are references that a very few would understand as they are song titles to music that happen to be on when I write. Sometimes I write and a song comes on and it triggers a memory so I write about the emotion or what I feel at the time. This title is because Mel read the front cover very dramatically to me. It fit. When I first registered I met an old colleague of mine from Vale who was here with her husband. We reminisced about the old times and she shared how I was a trouble maker. I only caused trouble when other people were watching though. She would try and talk to me or tell me something, but she would address me by my name. So I would be curt, acknowledge her and remind her that she should be addressing me as doctor. She knew it was a joke but people would stare in shock. She would laugh, and say some smart remark back to me and then I would smile.
I am sitting here now drinking contrast and I was asked to drink the whole cup in 5 minutes. I do not think it was possible and told her so. It sits heavy and reminds me of the protein drinks i use to drink. So many bad memories. I am going to be having a dietitian reach out to me on how to increase my caloric intake as it seems that I can not eat as much as I use to now. It seems that I have regressed a bit in that regards.
That is all for today as I undergo my planning soon. Nothing exciting now as I sit here trying to drink as much of this wonderful liquid as I can. See everyone tomorrow.
Quoc Hao