Last night was rough. Over the last couple of nights I have been throwing up mucous and bile at night. The kids were concerned and were asking Melanie about it. She informed them that it was due to the medication I was on and they had discussion about how medicine can be beneficial but have side effects as well. During this discussion it was brought up by Olivier that if there is good and bad side effects what happens if you die before the medicine or treatment works. Melanie reassured him that I was done the treatment so we did not have to worry about me dying before the medicine worked. He was not sad about this but it was a matter of fact way of discussing it. We have not spent much time talking to the kids about the cancer or death because for the most part things were not too bad and they have seen me go through it ok. The kids were concerned last night if I was ok or not.
Unfortunately the kids have experienced death in their short lives between their own fish, grandparents dog, or their great grandparents. I think that this was a time where religion helped them deal with it as they see it as a journey and they go to heaven. The kids have had a lot of questions about death with the great grandparents and it was a learning experience for them. I think that they accept the fact that people move on and you can miss them, but they will always have a place in your life. Olivier was concerned that if I died, who would be responsible for making online purchases or buying things for the kids. In his eyes I am just the one that buys things for them. No concern about missing me, only about how would he get his online purchases.
1.) Melanie worked at the office today and I appreciate the small things that she helps out with around the house even more. I made some tomato soup from scratch and it was exhausting and I left the kitchen a bit messier than I would like. I had to make it with an IV in my arm and carrying around a bag so it makes it a bit slow to do. I miss cooking and find it a bit tiring right now. When Melanie is around the house she helps me out with small things to make sure that I am comfortable. It is fantastic.
2.) Our families are fantastic and help out a lot. There are some foods that I have a craving for and my parents will make it for me as soon as they find out. I appreciate that they will make food for me as soon as I need it or have a craving for it. Unfortunately right now I am still not eating all that well.
Q