This morning we started off with a full schedule of things that we had planned. Mel and I were going to go the market in the morning, Olivier had some plans with friends, we had a meeting scheduled with the doctors at 1pm. Then things changed, we got a message this morning saying that something came up and the doctors coud not meet and we would meet with them at 9am on Monday morning instead. Olivier’s friend was sick and we would not be able to meet up. Our day cleared up quickly and it became more relaxed, and as we were thinking that we were going to have a chill lazy day, things started to fill up again. Olivier had another friend that wanted to hang out and Mel’s aunts and uncles came over for a coffee. It is amusing how quickly things can change over the course of the day. As things unravel there are other opportunities that come up. Today was good in the sense that we were able to go out and do things and entertain some guests. It is quite the big difference for us as it breaks the routine of just managing my symptoms. Each day things get better except for me literally getting up to pee every hour all night. I sleep in 45 minute intervals and then need to go to pee. The good thing this time though is that I actually ate at 5am because I had a craving for a seasame dessert. Food intake is getting better but some food still tastes weird to me and hopefully I can get over that soon.
I realized that when I have tough days I struggle on focusing on positive aspects of things. You lose the appreciation of small every day things because you are just trying to survive the day to get to the next day. What is the minimum that needs to be done to survive another day. It makes the day difficult. Even in those rough days I need to be able to articulate, what was one good thing that happened today. This morning at 7:30 in the morning I had a bunch of people text me and tell me that I was in their thoughts and that if I needed anything to not hesitate to ask. Small things like that remind me that I am not in this alone and something as simple as a kind word makes things easier. Mel is a bit worried for my next Chemotherapy session as I will not have someone there to help me out with things. I assured her that I would be ok, but she does not want me to drive there on my own. I may see if someone wants to hang out, but really I think that I will be able to manage and I will most likely bring my laptop and do work. The plan will be to have someone drop me off and then have my mother in law come afterwards to hang out with me prior to me leaving. We do not know what will happen as of yet.
Mel and I were chatting about things that we will do in Barcelona for our next trip. What did we need to make sure that we do, what stores do we want to make sure that we hit up again to bring things back. Different strategies around what we will bring back from Spain. It gives us something to look forward to. I think at this point i I would be surprised if they say not to come back. I would understand if they said that because what I am showing is complex and the strategy might be to hold off and see what the impact is with my treatment here prior to going back. The PIPAC is done for a very specific type of cancer and if the biopsy is showing that it is present but there is no physical evidence, is it something that we want to pursue considering the cost. They might want to wait a bit and then see if we have it under control and then hit it again in a little while. Once we find out more on Monday we can develop our new strategy.
QHM