Day 60 – 1.04.60 – Same story

When I was growing up we were required to write a speech, memorize it and recite it in class while in elementary school. During this time I would use the same story over and over and I am not sure if teachers knew or cared, but no one ever said anything. It was pretty easy marks as it was a story that had to do with me and I knew it so well. I can not remember how long it had to be, but the main components of it were as follows with additional information from my parents as I got older. Sometimes they will tell the stories to Melanie and myself and I find them really tough to listen to. I think of what they went through and think of me and my family and whether I could do it. Thinking of my kids suffering is tough.

My parents left South Vietnam in 1979 with my mother, my sister, three aunts, 2 of my cousins and my maternal grandmother. They were required to bribe people and pay for us to be cramped onto a small boat. There were multiple times where my father was almost killed but he was saved by luck. One instance was they had wanted my father to pay for our voyage again, and they were going to kill him if he did not pay. My grandmother was trying to shield my mother so she did not see all of this. Someone vouched for him that he had paid and he was let go. During the trip, everyone was cramped on a small boat and you were unable to move. Food was not provided for free and you had to pay extra for it. At some point in the journey the boat was sunk by pirates and everyone was thrown into the water. Friends of my parents and their family died trying to escape. Luckily an American oil tanker was in the area and rescued people. When on this boat, food was rationed sparingly and you had to give something to get more food. I am not sure how my father managed to hide resources and money during all of this time. There were things that he managed to keep afterwards and still has to this day. My mother was breastfeeding my sister, but she would give all of the food to the kids for their survival. One of the people on the ship tried to convince my mom that she had to eat some as well so she could provide milk for my sister. We then went to Malaysia where we were in a refugee camp for some time. There are more stories to tell during that time, but when I think what my parents had to go through to get to Canada, it is terrifying. We were lucky that we survived the ordeal to even escape. We were lucky that a church in a small Northern Ontario city decided that they wanted to help out and sponsor a family to come live there. We were lucky that it was our family that was chosen. Looking at what my father and mother did for their family, I am not sure if I could make the decisions they did. It is easy to think you would, but given the option I am not sure I could. My father was part of the Navy and they were provided the opportunity to escape on the ships and sail to the USA. This would have meant leaving my mother and his family behind. At this point in time, my parents were not married yet. Going back on the losing side of the war, things were not going to be good. He was required to go to prison and do manual labour for a period of time.

Having survived all of that during my early life, something like cancer seems easy. Cancer will not beat me, I refuse to let it dictate what I can or can not do in life. I have had opportunity provided to me because of the kindness of strangers. There was no benefit to them to help out my family. It was just proper religious teachings to help out others less fortunate. These early lessons in life have been ingrained in me. Help out others when you can. Do not do it for recognition, but because it is the right thing to do. No one needs to know what acts of kindness you do for others. I am happy that my kids are kind to others and give back when they can.

Q