Today is Friday the 13th and Olivier stayed home today because he had a headache. I always wonder if he is faking or not because he tries to get out of school all of the time, with each morning asking whether it is a snow day or not. I know that he is not faking as he spends most of the morning sleeping and having had migraines I know how bad it is, so we tend to let the boys stay home when they tell us that they have a migraine. They tend to sleep in their room with the lights off completely in silence so we know that it is real. My first thought should not be, are they faking this, but I know how much he dislikes school. We need to convince Xavier that it is ok to miss out on school. I have a history of migraines and it manifests itself around geomagnetic activity or barometric shifts. I know from my own past experience I expected issues during these times. Hopefully the kids can overcome this as they bother suffer from this. I have a bit of fear about the stomach cancer as my cousin had it as well, but I know what helped contribute to this and Mel will help monitor the kids and make sure that they do not do as many foolish things as I do.
Today it is the tumour board at Princess Margaret and hopefully they will be reviewing my scans today to see if I meet the first requirement which is the cancer has to be larger than 1cm. The silver lining is that if I am rejected because of the size of the cancer it is not necessarily a bad thing, it would indicate that my starting point is not as bad as others. They are only going to accept potentially 5 people in this study and you are randomly allocated to one of the 3 groups. We would also know which group we are in. If I pass this first requirement then I would then proceed to go down in a week or two to get some more tests done. Regardless it is a win win situation for me. Either I am not eligible because my cancer is not advanced enough, or I get to participate in an experimental procedure.
I have been feeling better the last couple of days for food as I have tried to remember to take the motility pills. I am permited to take as much as required 30 minutes prior to me eating. That is the issue though, is that I try and eat whenever I remember and do not always remember 30 minutes ahead. I will take some pills shortly though before I eat. When I do take them it does seem to work, prior to me eating sometimes I can feel a sensation in my chest that is more of a discomfort that makes me not want to eat. It is something that I need to try and push through though as if I did not eat when I have this feeling I do not think I would ever eat. It feels like an anxiousness in my body, but right now I do not really have anything that I am consciously anxious of. I had slept better last night and I started to keep some small treats beside my bed in the event that I wake up in the middle of the night, I will then grab some food and then go back to bed. We have some mini butter tarts that we picked up last weekend still and I eat those as a 1 bite snack in the middle of the night. I managed to eat some tuna salad and some chips for my lunch and it seems to be sitting well. I do not feel full at the moment, nor do I feel hungry. I will have a yogurt parfait as my 2:30 snack as I finished eating my lunch at 1pm, so it should be an ideal break. I would eat at 2pm but Xavier needs to get picked up at school as he had school hockey this morning. Soon enough I will not be able to pick him up so one of his grandparents will need to get him or we will need to make other arrangements.
Tomorrow we are planning on going on a family ski trip to Elliott Lake. I unfortunately will not be able to ski, and we have not been able to find someone for Xavier to ski with as all of his friends are not available. I am not sure if Mel is going to ski with him or not or what we are going to do about that right now. He is faster than Mel, but we also have Olivier and the 3 of them can go together but they will not all ski at the same speed. Xavier is the fastest, Mel is in the middle and Olivier really likes to take his time. Normally Xavier and I go on our own and Mel takes her time with Olivier. Dynamics change now that Mel has to handle both of them and one likes speed and the other is all about enjoying the scenery and going as slow as possible. Xavier will also want to ski a full day and Olivier is good after 1 hr of skiing. I will need to monitor my food intake while at the lodge as we will be in Elliott lake it is not a huge place with tons of options so I need to make sure that I am healthy enough.
QHM