By now you would think I have learned. Last night I ate food that did not sit well and ended up vomiting. Totally my fault. I ate my tomatoes compote with cheese on some crostini as my snack. Now this would not be an issue if I had only 1 and started with protein prior. I foolishly had 3 of them because I thought I could. I torched the cheese and it was wonderful and I thought that I could eat 3. I could not. You would think lessons learned. Of course not, that would be silly. This morning I woke up and had a craving for crumpets, so after I had my morning coffee I made some and had one with honey butter. The yeast we have is old now and I think that I need to buy more. We may have some downstairs that I should check because I am pretty sure I thought of this already. Energy levels have been great after yesterday and my weight is still slowly increasing. It also seems that I can eat a bit more now as compared to before. When I eat protein and push to the limits, it is uncomfortable for about 5 to 10 minutes but as long as it was not too far it subsides rather quickly and I feel that I can eat again fairly soon. The key is to stay away from too much carbs. Rice is ok, but flour based carbs is not as great.
My cousin has been reaching out to me every couple of days to check up on me. We use to be super close when we were younger but as we grew up and started having families we did not have as much time. Her so is going to school at UoT so we said we will try and meet up in April. There was quite a huge age gap between her and her brother as he was born after my uncle was released from prison in Vietnam and immigrated here. He was the baby of the family and everyone doted on him. I think her motherly instinct applies to me in this situation as well.
Today I am in quite the reminiscing mood and there was a song that popped into my head this morning. Confession by Lagwagon. The album came out when I was in university and when I thought I had to confess about my idiocy the lyrics popped into my head so I have been playing the album now. The song has nothing to do about any of this but it made me think of it. Last night at our get together I was chatting with so e of our guests and some thing that came up was having something to live for and looking forward to. A lot of older people die when their partner dies. Professors who retire from the university have a high death afterwards. Of course some of it is due to old age, but when you lose that drive it makes things difficult. It is the same with illness, if that is all you have, it is all you think of. People have said that I try to never miss any of Xavier’s games and it is true. Since he has been playing I have only missed a handful and that was because I was banned from attending due to medical reasons. One was because I was recovering from brain surgery and the neurosurgeon advised me to not go to the tournament. We ended up losing that tournament, most likely because I was not there. In every tournament with Xavier where I was involved in assembling the roster and managing some aspect of the team we have made it to the finals and finished top 2. The premise is valid though, when I am at his hockey games and actively tracking the stats I never feel ill or anything. My mind is too focused and concentrating on watching the game. When I have a lot to do at work it is the same thing, I am hyper focused on work and figuring things out and feel well. I look forward and enjoy being in the kitchen so I manage to do that, but sometimes I push myself to my physical limits.
Earlier this week I had some more pans arrived and Mel asked why I would buy more. Right now we have 2 half sheets that only fit at the top of 1 of the ovens and we had 1 jelly roll pan that fit everywhere. I ordered 2 more jelly rolls but of a different brand than what I purchased before. The sheets are either Made In or Nordic Ware, but they are pricey, so I had tried some cheaper commercial grade so we will see if they warp or not. All of the pots and pans we have now are awesome and heat evenly. During COVID Mel was all about things that sparked joy. Buying kitchen things sparks joy and driving Mel mad with daily Amazon deliveries is something Iook forward to.
We will be leaving shortly to travel to North Bay for hockey. So far this morning I have been eating well and with great energy. Tomorrow I will provide an update on how foolish I was today. I am just another fool and I have to keep telling myself that I am just a hypocrite.
Q