I realized that I prefer having my chemo on Wednesday as it lets me work a normal work schedule. Yesterday was a tough day as it is normally the day when I rest. Today I was fatigued as well, but it was not too bad and was bearable. I frequent some cancer forums because I had some comments that could help out with people, but it seems that a lot of people on the forums are in depressed states and go there for help and assistance from people. I wish that I could help them out more, but I am not sure if my positive attitude would help as when others are positive there is some resistance or negativity associated with it. They get themselves stuck in a rut and it is hard to get out. There are some talks about a psychologist and his views on “Exceptional Cancer Patients” and some of it is interesting to read. It is not a new concept and has been around for quite a long time. There was research done into personality types and cancer survivorship in the 70’s and a lot of it is around psychosocial support. One of the findings which was interesting was non-conformity and flexibility lead to people outliving expectations, which makes sense.
One thing that I always looked for in my career and life was to make a difference. What is the mark that I leave the organization or company that I work for. It is sometimes hard to measure or ascertain whether you made an impact or not. That is my goal, is to leave a mark on the organization that will be tied back to me.
1.) While I was at the University, there were certain statistical techniques that I used and a confidence that I would instill in my students. Most of my students used some of the advanced techniques and they were quite sound in their statistical knowledge. Any student that studied with me would have to meet the minimum requirement and if they did not then I would be merciless in grilling them in front of their peers during thesis defense. I had the opportunity to decide which students I would work with and would often work with the best. All of the students that I mentored or thought of as my protégé went on to great success either as a professional in some discipline or further received a doctorate. I was blessed to be able to interact with so many bright students. I believed in having them guide their own research and me to learn their area of expertise as opposed to them trying to do what I thought interesting. The really bright students would challenge themselves by taking on topics for classes that were my area of expertise. The expectations for them were high and they all performed admirably. To this day I keep in touch with a lot of the students that I encountered.
2.) The people that I have a lot of influence over is my kids. We help shape them and the lessons that we teach them will shape who they are. When Melanie and I were dating, her grandparents thought we were the ring leaders of the group and had a large influence over the cousins. While in Toronto we use to love to go for midnight crepes at a dessert place called Demetres. We would leave near midnight for the snack, and the cousins always wanted to come but it was far too late at night. So we would try and go earlier so they could join in the fun. It was just something fun and ridiculous to do and a delicious treat. I am not sure if it is the same quality as it was back then, but we always tried to include people in our fun adventures. Our kids now always think of others and not just themselves. They always want to share their fun or good fortunes with their own cousins or friends. Anything they enjoy they see how others might enjoy it as well.
3.) My impact in life is something that I would like to know, but hard to measure. Today I received a phone call from my first principal at my elementary school. I was touched to receive the phone call because he called to just inform me that he was praying for me and to mention that throughout my life so far I have impacted other people and that they have fond memories of me as a person. Connections like this that can remain dormant for decades and then reignite means something. There is a strong connection that exists. That is all that I can ask for, that I made some difference to someone and had some influence in their life. I have taught or coached tens of thousands of students at this point in my life and it is interesting to see some now that I barely recognize and we have a familiarity that we can not pinpoint until time goes by and then I recall how I know them. I generally remember the exceptionally good or the exceptionally bad students. Everyone else is a blur.
I know that I am shaping my family and it is nice to see the lessons that they have learned and applied. I hope that Melanie and I are providing good examples for them to live by and are teaching them what we believe is important. One lesson I know that they have learned is always give back to others what you can, whether it is a new experience, a kind word or some gift. People appreciate the thought.