I have not sent out an email update for a while, and a lot has happened. For those that do not read my blog, I will summarize the main things and provide some additional information from my doctor visits this week. During the early part of September, I suffered 2 concussions in back-to-back weeks. The first time, I got up from my bed and was walking in the hallway and started to feel lightheaded. I stopped walking, put my hand on the wall and woke up on the floor with my glasses off. I ended up with a black eye. My wife was home, and my parents were dropping off food, so they helped me to the bed. At this time, I was still on IV and had the nurse check me over 20-30 minutes afterwards. After this episode I tried to be careful about moving around. The following week, Melanie had gone to the grocery store, and I was home alone with the kids. I remember getting out of bed and waking up on the floor in a pool of blood. I do not remember much of what happened but have a faint memory of Olivier giving me paper towels to help wipe up the blood. Melanie helped piece together the remainder of the night. I ended up going to the ER and spent 8 hours there. Super fun. After this incident we checked with the oncologists, and they said all my blood work had come back all right and that I should check in with my family doctor.
This week I have had several appointments with doctors and people. The first appointment of the week was with my surgeon. I realized that after talking to some doctors I need to take some time off, because if the news is not great, it is something that distracts me and makes working for the rest of the day difficult. I went in person to see the surgeon and he checked my wounds to make sure that they were healing well and made comments about how much skinnier I was. The one thing of concern he said though was that in all likelihood the cancer was going to come back. The nature of the aggressiveness of the cancer and the fact that it was found in so many lymph nodes would suggest that from a statistical point of view, relapse is highly probably. It was still quite a bit disconcerting to hear. I did not think it would bother me, but in the moment it did. He had mentioned how the last part of radiation was difficult for me and that with the weight loss if it continued it would make treatment harder. It brought me back to the last couple of weeks of treatment and how much it sucked. He reiterated that he was surprised that I continued to work during this time and said most people would be taking time off. He made it sound like I was in the last stages of life and that I should enjoy the time I have left. Other doctors have said the same thing where I should just continue to live my life. He asked me if I wanted him to keep on following the case and I said sure. Some pragmatic balance to things is a welcome addition to keep things grounded. If it comes back, it will most likely be in the next two years, but even if it does not come back in two years it might come back afterwards.
Melanie had something at this time and could not drive me. It was the first time I have driven in a while, and it was quite close by. I called Melanie on the way home and shared what the doctor had said. When you first hear the news, it is a bit difficult. I needed to take some time to just think about it and then I realized that it does not really change things. Even if it does come back, we will deal with it then. There is no point in worrying about something that is outside of my control. If it comes back, it does not mean it is a death sentence and we can deal with it as it comes up. I am experienced with this now and when I get the chance to write my best-selling book on being a Stomach Cancer Survivor, I would then be able to write sequels to my book.
My appointment with my family doctor was more positive and I will be undergoing some tests for my heart to make sure everything is ok. My doctor went through cancer treatment, so she was familiar with the journey. I have a series of tests that were booked with the oncology team next week, so she will review that, and she has added a couple more tests for me to undergo. I love going in for blood work and CT scans. I am an expert on it now.
I had my first physiotherapy session on Thursday. My muscles have atrophied quite a bit and I imagine this is how I will feel when I am 90 years old. I am just getting a head start on that part of my life. I have a series of exercises to do to help build up muscles. I ended up being a lot stronger than she thought. My upper body is relatively strong, but my legs are super weak. This was a bit difficult for me as I have always had quite muscular legs. I can not balance on one leg for more than 4 seconds right now and when I do my whole-body shakes. It is quite humorous as something as simple as standing on one leg is quite difficult now.
On the bright side I am gaining weight. From last week to this week, I have managed to gain roughly 4 to 5 lbs. This is impressive as most of the time I have had difficulty just sustaining my weight.