Some days are very tough and I do not like those days. It is a stark reminder of everything that I need to be careful of and what I can or can not do. I can not use will power to overcome physical and mental exhaustion. I can try and push through but it makes it worse. In my head I should have been able to deal, it was “just” an alternate method of delivering the drug. What i excluded mentally though was I also had surgery and there is a reason why they keep you in the hospital for 48hrs. I am recovering from treatment and surgery. Silly me. As soon as I left the hospital instead of resting, I pushed myself that evening and the next day. I had limited resources all week as we wanted to experience Barcelona and we pushed each day with the kids getting over 20,000 steps a day. This was to be expected. When each movement I make whether large or small feels like I made it after running a marathon, it should be a sign to rest. When my cognition slows and I seem groggy and can not articulate clearly I need to rest. My body betrays the mental image I have in my head and in times when things are rough, I need to learn to adjust. Days 3 and 4 after chemo I am tired. After surgery I will be tired. Now that I know the pattern I can adjust and not feel like I was hit by Mack truck.
On the bright side though we had the best dinner last night and I found everything that I wanted at a grocery store not too far from us. We stocked up and Mel managed to push everything up last night. There is quite the difference in personality between Xavier and Olivier. Xavier is more confident and when he was in France he could understand them and they could understand him. Olivier struggled with that a bit more and it frustrated him. I think that exposure to sports and having to handle all of that himself has helped him. He also is older and more sure of himself where Olivier lacks a bit of confidence. Perhaps with age he will be more assertive in public because he is extremely assertive with his friends.
The lounge in Barcelona is not the same as the Air Canada lounge. The lounges herr are jam packed and the food was not as good as we had. The food was ok, but not to the calibre that I had at Air Canada. I am struggling to eat today which is not good. The food is not sitting well and hurts when I eat so I have refrained from a lot of things. I tried some soft food and it is ok, but I think that today I have a lot of fatigue. One thing that the airports do extremely well is accomodation for accessiblity. The lines are very small and you get fast tracked through a lot of things. We will be boarding in 30 minutes or so and I will post this prior to flying out. I am so tired today that it bothers me. I will provide some recap of things in the next few days and explain some things in better detail on why my case is causing all of these issues. There is a certain scale that is used and so far they have not provided a score which eliminates me for a lot of trials. Which is why the doctors in Barcelona are going to pivot and figure things out.
Q
Safe travels ❤️
Safe Travels!💕💕