Today is the last day of the year and it has been quite an experience this year. When I began the year I thought that I was just dealing with a stomach ulcer and nothing more serious than that. It did not seem like it was going to be that big of a deal. An ulcer is something that should be fairly easy to treat and to resolve with a bit of care. The last couple of years have been quite a departure from normal with Covid happening. Things are still not back to normal. I am not sure if having cancer during Covid made things easier or harder but the care that I received was fantastic. I have heard complaints about the healthcare system and how easy it is to get lost or forgotten within it, but it was pretty smooth for me. I also am aware that I had people in the background helping me out with things discreetly without telling me. I appreciate all of the assistance that I received from people.
This year provided me an opportunity to reflect with both my work and with my personal life. I am grateful for the experience and learned a lot from it. I am grateful for all of the support I have received from my friends and family. People whom I have not been in a lot of contact with in years reached out to me and we had nice conversations and I received a lot of support from them as well. It is a bit surprising to me how I have had a completely different experience from a lot of other cancer patients I have read about on forums and things. One of the complaints was that people thought that they had a great support system, but it slowly died off or did not even start with people not knowing what to do to help or disappeared. I had so many offers of assistance and even if I did not request any, people still helped me. People whom I did not talk to for a while offered to help out in any way that they could. This has been consistent for the whole year. It provides you comfort knowing that you can always make a phone call and someone will answer on the other side willing to help out.
From a work perspective it allowed me to grow as I was forced to delegate more to my team than I would normally. I tried to set up a routine and a structure that helped facilitate things a bit better. Our team grew closer this year and it deepened my relationship at work. When I first told my team and peers of the cancer diagnosis I think it surprised a lot of people. Normally we have camera on sessions and when I told people there were a lot of instances where they went off camera. Over the course of the year whenever I had a chance in procedures or something major happened, I would receive words of encouragement and gifts from my team. I appreciated that they were there for me. Everyone told me not to worry about work and that it was not important. I remember talking to one of the managers as we had a meeting and they were complaining about things and we were trying to figure out what actions and what we should do. At the end of the meeting I informed the manager that I might not be around for a bit because I was diagnosed with cancer. The immediate reaction was an apology for everything that they had said and that I should take care of myself. I had just mentioned it at the end of the meeting because I did not want it to impact what we were doing. News of my condition reached throughout leadership up and they contacted me to wish me well. That surprised me a bit as I did not expect that to occur. Some leadership from other areas had reached out and shared their experiences with cancer. I appreciated the insight that they provided and they shared their journey with me. A lot thought I was foolish for working through it all, but it helped me out much more. I did not have time to sit around and think about it. I was not going to spend my time thinking about it. I had a purpose and a focus. This helped me develop as a manager because I could not come in and help the team with their work. I had to figure out a way to be a manager that never went on site to help them out. I have learned a lot about myself and my team and I think I can be a much better manager now.
Olivier has some sensory issues and we were trying to help him overcome it. He does not even want to try because he thinks he will fail. Melanie and I tried to teach him that he can not have the attitude that he will fail before he tries. He has to try even if the odds seem impossible or things are difficult. I am not sure if we got through to him but we tried to use examples he could relate to as well as me being sick this year. For the last 18 months I have not been at 100% from pancreatitis to cancer and then brain surgery. My kids think things will get back to normal now and that it is just strength I need to recover so that is nice. Me not being able to do things has not phased them much anymore as it has been part of the norm for them. The two of them are pretty disciplined and make sure they have masks on and when they come home they immediately go wash their hands. They have also learned that they can not be too rough with me because I am quite fragile.
Within the next day or so I would like to write about some of the life lessons that I have learned over the course of this year. It is a good time for reflection and for personal growth. I learned what I would do differently, and taking more time off is probably not one of them, but I would probably work a bit less or restructure my work a bit more so it is not as stressful or hard.
Quoc Hao