April 11th – Last Day

Being a PSW can be difficult I think. Mel has been doing this for me for the last couple of months and I think she is exceptional at it. I think that I am probably a bad patient in the sense that I tend to push myself a bit too much and then i crash a bit. Mel wanted to relax a bit yesterday and then go out to do some things but we ended up going to the market area before it closed and bought all sorts of things. My sister thinks that I had pinned far too many things for Spain as we would never be able to actually hit everything that I had saved. A lot was so we would know what to eat ok certain areas to avoid tourist traps. I also tagged a bunch of stores that I wanted to go to for various things. We ended up going to a chocolatier in the area and found a restaurant that serves dinner early so we went there. During our escapades Xavier had to pee and tried to hold it in but we just went to a cafe for coffee so everyone could use the facilities. We eventually had our paella dinner and I was done for the day. I was so exhausted that moving was difficult. It was like I had all energy drained from me. I spent a lot of yesterday napping in the hospital, more than I had any other day. I think the cumulative effects of the trip were catching up to me. Anyone who has gone through chemo understands the impact on your taste buds and eating. It is sometimes difficult on a good day and on a bad day it burns when you eat and nothing tastes right. Mel had wanted me to shower when we returned from the hospital but I wanted to go out. I showered when we go back with Mel supervising me the whole time. I felt weak and she wanted to make sure I was ok. She helped me get dressed and to bed. Mel has never complained once or shown any discontent when I needed help whether it was in the middle of the night or whenever. The amount of effort she is putting in now to make sure the family is operational is amazing. When I see forums and others going through cancer I understand why people split up. The sheer amount of work and willingness to play second fiddle can be quite overwhelming. You may not have people to lean on for support. We are lucky that we have so many people supporting us. We get so many messages daily offering words of encouragement and support. It helps remind you that you are not doing this alone. I am grateful that my sister came along to help out with the kids and Mel. She has offered emotional support to Mel when things are rough. When things are not perfect, she takes it to heart as she wants everything to go well. With my sister she has someone who can reassure her that things are ok and she can handle the kids while Mel can focus on me. Being a caretaker for cancer patients is not easy. Moreso when I am the patient. The unknown can be terrifying, but I am confident that we will face it together and persevere.

We decided to go up with cable car and take a look around the castle. The path however is not smooth with all of the cobblestonew. Normally it would not be much of an issue and I would walk through it all. Today, not so much. I am fatigued and walking drains a lot of energy. We are going to go to the grocery store after this, so I am going to take one of my energy chews prior and that will help me until we get back to the hotel afterwards. I am not a fan of having to manage my energy levels and conserving strength. I told them to take their time and take photos while I chill near the entrance.  I managed to get most of what I wanted at a gourmet store, except anchovies here need to be refrigerated so unfortunately I have not been able to purchase any to bring home. Next time I will prepare with refrigeration packs so we can store them. Mel is going to try and pack all of the stuff we brought, hopefully she will be able to. We have a lot of extra bags and should be able to check things in. We have one meal left that we will either take the metro to, or eat here at the hotel. Either option is a delicious choice.

Q