Today has been rather tiring. I had to take a nap in the afternoon, but I have been out and about for Xavier’s hockey today. I started standing up and realized by the 3rd period that it was not going to work out if I stood up the whole time and then I sat down.
They lost this morning pretty significantly and Xavier was not too happy and cranky. He does not like to lose and even if it was not his fault his performance was not good enough to carry the team to an upset. I think that situations like this is good to build resilience and for his mental makeup. Whether it is fair or not, the burden and expectations are when your team or a team member is down you do all that you can to try and help them out. He knows my philosophy that if you are only good when the team is good, you are not a good goalie. To achieve greatness you need to elevate everyone around you and bring them to a other level. It does not matter how much the odds are stacked against you. Never give up and persevere.
The equivalent is now when the statistical prognosis sucks and if I stopped working or did not do anything, no one would hold it against me. I want Xavier to ignore everything when people say it can not be done. Prove them wrong. The biggest issue right now in his play in situations like this is that he does not believe that he has the endurance to maintain that sustained effort throughout and you can see him getting tired. He drops faster and stays deeper in his net. Leading to him not playing aggressive and not making all of the stops. Great goalies stop everything that they are supposed to and make the impossible saves enough times during the game to give his team the confidence that one lucky bounce and they can win the game. He is not at that level yet and that is the expectation. No excuses for your play regardless of what the odds are. When the world is against you, did deep and figure it out. I am glad that losing in these situations bother him because it means he has the mentality that the loss was preventable. He needs to work harder and sustain effort to improve. It does not mean that you can always overcome the odds, just never give up.
When Olivier lost his watch in the school yard we had a similar chat with him. He knows that they are expensive but what we told him is that if he owned up to the mistake and was accountable we would be upset that he lost it, but we would not be mad. Accidents happen. Be accountable for your actions and understand the consequences.
I have pushed myself further today then I have in other days and I feel it at the end of the day. My core is sore and I feel fatigued, but if you do not try and push a little more every day and if you accept limitations it is much harder to overcome them. Growing up I have often been held to a different standard than others. Whether it was fair or not did not matter. I know that my parents and some of my teachers/professors expected more from me. It was not to be malicious but to push me in life. This has helped me with the battles with illness. I expect to survive and to succeed. I expect to push myself physically and mentally. Growth occurs through quickest when you are pushed into uncomfortable situations, but it needs to balance between too much and just enough. That is the fine line I need to balance. I drove home today and it was fine, but I also know that I really activated my core a lot today and need to spend time tomorrow in recovery. It is important to push, but just as important to recover.
This evening to relax we watched an old favorite of mine. Searching for Bobby Fischer. At the end there was a line that resonated a bit with me after watching the games today and talking with the coaches. The premise is that you can teach the kids everything they need, but in the end it is up to their inherent makeup whether they will succeed or not. I think that this is the lesson I want our kids to understand. We can set you up for success in life but it is your own desire that needs to finish it. Like my current journey, I can have everyone help and set me up for success but I still need the me talk fortitude to push through and succeed.
Q