Mel last week told me that I should not try and be superman and that I need to make sure that I rest. I scoffed at such suggestions and figured that I could power through it. I am not sure how I managed to do it the first time through. State of mind is one part of it, where I wanted to prove people wrong about it and that I could power through it. I forgot about the mental fatigue though and how my cognitive processing slows down during it. Mel tells me that this is what most people feel and that the way that I processed information before was abnormal. My body is physically tired and my energy is being spent healing. Mel already warned me this morning that I need to make sure that I eat and focus on that instead of working.
What I decided to do though is to iterate 5 things that I want to accomplish each day in regards to different dimensions to help me recover more quickly. To help accelerate mental coherence I should set achievable goals and face myself into organizing my thoughts a bit. It is easy for my mind to wander a bit now and to lose focus and I can assist it by activating the part of my brain that reduces redunancy that is not required. My 1st goal for today is to understand everything that happened from work last week. This is my framing goal as it will allow me quick oversight of where we are. My 2nd goal is to take breaks where I pause and meditate and modulate my emotions to prevent overexertion. If I do not do this then I will overwork myself and decrease productivity. My 3rd goal is to move more and break 1000 steps in the day. I have been walking around like an old man have struggled with movements as activating the core would make me sore. The 4th goal is to engage with the boys more today as my interaction with them has been quite limited the last couple of days. Yesterday I gave Olivier a hug and he was very careful and hesitant to hurt me. They know that I am broken now, but I want to show them that I am recovering and that things are getting better. For my 5th goal is I want to learn something new. I have not been doing much reading or learning as it was mentally tiring and I do not want to grow stagant. My goal is to to take some knowledge and then see what the next logical progression of the next steps would be.
I made some food and realized that after eating it, I am fatigued. I do not have the mucuous build up that I have had in the previous weeks or the sensation of nausea, but in my stomach I can feel it telling me, do not eat another bite. So far I have never felt full, but I have also never felt hungry really and have made sure that I properly modulate my food intake. I drink or eat continuously through the day. Right now I ate something from 9:50 till approximately 10:20 and will not or drink for a little while yet.
Over the course of the day I could. It believe how mentally fatigued I got. It is interesting to read my writing and it comes across in the writing, my mental state and the fluctuations in my cognition. It is like thinking through a fog. Not very enjoyable. I will push myself a bit further each day though.
In terms of my goals. I accomplished 1 through 3 fairly easily. 4 has been a bit of a failure as the two of them have been fighting over the most trivial things. It is rather interesting to see them bicker as they are both trouble makers and start things for no reason. I still have time for that one and for goal 5. Mel thinks we need a new kettle for our coffee bar. So I am going to translate that slightly to a different goal to purchase something that I think she will enjoy. I have spent tons of time doing research before on it and spent a couple of hours this evening looking things up as well. Hopefully something comes on sale and I can get her a new “kettle”.
At the end of the day I need to manage my energy a bit better. I am not capable yet of working a full 8hrs at once as it is far too taxing on me mentally. No one has asked me to, but it still bothers me. I think in 2 days I will be fully recovered. That is how much time I am giving myself. Xavier has a heavy hockey schedule this week and I would like to be able to watch the games.
Q