Things next week are going to be interesting. On thursday I find out what time my surgery is scheduled for next week. If things do not go well then I will be done fairly quickly and if things go well then I will be there for a much lengthier amount of time. I will be bed ridden in there for a couple of days while I recover. I need to make sure that I pack the appropriate things or have Mel have it packed in order to bring it to me. I normally bring multiple headsets and alternate between them all depending on my mood. Some of them go into my ears while some sit on top, but I try and bring all of my noise canceling ones as well as a sleep mask. The hospital gets rather packed so I do not think that I will be able to get a semi-private room, let alone a private room. That would be my preference and i do not really care if I need to pay for it. The last couple of times I had room mates and sometimes they are pleasant and some times….not so much.Yesterday was a disappointing day for me and I told Mel it felt ominious for me. A lot of things that I was expecting did not happen. Xavier was supposed to have his mask delivered last week, but they were delayed and it still has not arrived and may arrive tomorrow, but we are not sure yet. The small fridge was supposed to arrive but that has not arrived yet either and we are waiting to hear back about that one. Mel asked to get the appliances delayed for 2 weeks to allow more space and time for the counter tops and backsplash to be installed.
Yesterday I just had the feeling that I would not be able to use the new appliances. I was in a cranky mood yesterday and doing work I was annoyed all day. I had some meetings with people and I told them that I was cranky and they asked if i had wanted to reschedule. Saying that I was cranky out loud helps in the sense that it makes sure that I am aware that I am in a foul mood. Mel tells me that is good to vocalize it and I am in agreement. I was not mad at anyone in particular. I was sick and tired of hearing about things not working out. It was the second day in a row that things like that happened. It also sheds light on how people can be so down when they go through serious illness how easy it is to get into a negative tailspin. I have been receiving phone calls all day for various things. One of them from the radiology department that informed me that last Friday they mailed me informing me that I would have the liquid extraction next week…the day after my surgery. I must confess that while talking to her I was annoyed. I am not sure what she was doing, but I could what sounded like heavy breathing into the phone. It sounded like she was out of breath. She asked me if my surgery on Tuesday was major or just a minor procedure. I was not sure how to answer that buy knew that this procedure would be useless by that point. So this procedure is now cancelled. I feel that in the last couple of days that I am teetering on the edge of being in a bad mood. When I acknowlege it though it helps me make sure that I do not take it out on people as they are not at fault for my mood. Everyone has been nice but I am tired of answering the same questions over and over for 10-15 minutes. It seems that the hospital should have a linked system where they can see what the answers are. It was literally the same script 3 times, but by different departments so I had to be nice. In the past when it occurred and I knew it was the same department I would tell them that someone had already called and asked these very same questions. The surgeon called and said that he did not think that there was much fluid to extract from the scans. I am not sure if that is a good thing or not as I am not sure how much fluid should be free floating in my stomach.
Mel thinks that I need to manifest good thoughts and be happy. I feel that if Xavier’s mask is not shipped today to arrive that i am going to fly down on Thursday after I am done at the hospital to go pick it up myself. I would like to have something positive happen this week so if I need to do it myself I will. By the weekend we should have the countertops installed and hopefully we will have the sink in place with the dishwasher functional again.
We have not cleaned the shower in a while, and it is something that I generally do but we have been so busy in the last couple of weeks that I have not had the opportunity to get to it. Last night, Mel did it as I was tired after running around all day long. I am grateful that she is willing to do more tasks when I am not feeling well enough to do things. The washrooms are clean, but it takes 30-45 minutes to scrub the shower. I am not sure how well Mel would be able to do it as she is significantly shorter than I am and there are some parts that are quite high in there. I miss the steam shower and need to get that fixed eventually. When I think about the things that concern me, they are all first world problems and nothing that actually matters. They are small inconveniences at the worst and nothing that will really impact our lives.
I have received notification that the mask has shipped and it will arrive tomorrow. It looks beautiful and I appreciate the artistic skill of people to make it. Mel made arrangements with people at the pool so she will be able to drive Xavier to hockey next week while I am hopefully still in the hospital. This weekend his summer team got together at the Sudbury Wolves game in the box and I unfortunately did not attend. I was not really in the mood to socialize as I was supposed to be having my stereotactic radiosurgery potentially on Thursday. I also wanted to avoid seeing too many people and possibly get sick. I would have enjoyed seeing everyone but for now I will just chat with them from afar for a while. I am in a much better mood now that I am at the arena and will watch Xavier for a short bit. I am going to stop writing now and end this abruptly. Just because I am tired and done writing for the day.
Q