We had the counter people come in today to measure the dimensions prior to cutting and installation. Initially they had told Mel that it might be till Christmas, so she was bracing herself for a long wait. He told her today that they would be ready to install the countertops next week and the backsplash the week afterwards. This was the first good news that Mel had heard in a while in regards to our renovations. Though during the whole process when something came up and she asked the reply was do not worry, it is easy. Things that she thought might be difficult turned out to be fairly easy for the people who were doing the work. The flooring was picked up today and will be installed this weekend and I am trying to schedule delivery of the appliances for next week sometime, or the week after. This evening we will go look for some new stair railings to install. Hopefully this trend of good news continues to this Wednesday and the surgeon agrees to the surgery and it can be scheduled relatively quickly. If he said that it would be on Thursday or Friday I am not sure if I would be mentally prepared for that because I will be stuck in the hospital for a couple of days and Mel is scheduled to be in Toronto. If that is the case I know that she would be stressed out and she would try and get out of her work trip. If this occurs then my mother will most likely stay at our house to help out with cooking for the kids and getting them ready for things.
Last night I woke up at 3:00am with what seemed to be acid reflux. It woke me up and I drank some water and tried to manage it the best that I could. As Wednesday approaches it feels that my stomach is much more on edge. I think I am starting to feel a bit more anxious about what may happen. Right now we are in a holding pattern where we do not know much and are sitting in the unknown. It is comfortable because we do not need to deal with reality and make a decision. Hopefully the good news trend continues and we have the surgery scheduled quickly and they find that it has been localized. I can then start my book on being a two-time cancer winner. I am curious on what treatment options they would provide after the surgery to hopefully make sure that they prevent recurrence. Regardless I think I am going to be far more vigilant on any changes to my body afterwards in the hopes that we would catch it earlier. You would think I would learn better by now.
I had a song playing that made me think of things a lot. The essences of the song is about when things are not going well and things feel like that they will never get better that you should try and see things as temporary and day to day. The challenges of the day should not be taken as a reflection of the whole life.
Sometimes I get busy and forget to write and then scramble at the end of the day to put something together. I think that it is important for me to keep the routine up as for one short period of the day it at least forces me to think of the positive things that are happening around me. It calms my nerves and i forget about other things. I know I have said this on numerous occasions, but it is cathartic to me at this point. I am sure that some of my friends and colleagues will be looking up what that word means. Especially the ones where English is not their first language. You generally use that word when you are releasing emotion through some sort of an activity. English is not Mel’s primary language and when she first started neuroscience she was introduced to a lot of new words. I like to tease her about it. One of the things she relayed to me was she would record the classes and play them back and she did not understand what the professor was saying or what it actually meant. The word was olfactory, but what she heard was “old factory” and she had no clue what an old factory had to do with the lessons being taught.
I have had some chats with people and things came around the future and whether I would have regrets on things that I would not be able to do. I do not think I would, because I have so much more to appreciate from things that I did experience. There are a lot of things in life that I have not had the opportunity to do yet. I have a lot that I would like to do, but when I think back on everything that I have accomplished and where I am now, I am content with the life that I have lived. There is so much to be appreciative for. Mel mentioned that for everyone else that I am patient and much kinder and at home I tend to be more abrupt. I think that her assessment may be correct as when I am tired I tend to be far more abrupt and do not want to engage. This is the me that she is exposed to, me at my worst and me at my best when I come up with solutions quickly and adapt to things. I need to cherish the moments that I have now, remember what we have accomplished in the past and not stress about the future. Our two kids are for the most part very well behaved, with a creative streak and a sense of trouble. They will not conform for the sake of it and will cause enough chaos to make things interesting. This was one of the key traits that both Mel and I possessed, it just manifested in different ways.
Q