When I first was diagnosed with cancer, I think that they recommended for me to find a support group of some kind. I do not remember the exact details. But I did join Cancer Connect. I recently tried to log back in and could not. Posts there are sometimes slow and far between, but I like to see what others go through and get a perspective on my own personal journey. I eventually fixed my login and was checking out some posts
A recent post was on accountability and how being part of a peer support group is accountability and where it is important to show up for each other for not just the hard times but the day to day moments and challenges. The intent is growth. So they ask members to write and share what is something that you have been putting off that you would like to tackle. I understand where they are going with that. When I was going through my career in academia something that I was taught was; academia is the pursuit of knowledge, dissementation of the knowledge to teach and grow others and provide a critical lens to test out ideas. I miss teaching. I miss passing on knowledge to others. I try and do that as much as I can. I feel that I am accountable to pass on my knowledge. I was at a dinner with some friends and they had mentioned that I excelled at looking at things from a high level systematic view. I could always see how those pieces moved and interacted. The intricacies of movement amongst all of the parts. While I work with different groups of people I can see how this is true and I have attempted to make it more clear and help them visualize it all. When someone speaks I can build the image in my head and move forward quickly. What someone once told me is I needed to learn how to make sure that I take others along the journey with me. I am attempting to do that now through my writing. I focus on the positive things in my life. I am accountable to all my friends and family that are rooting for me. I am accountable for the growth of my family. I am accountable for the development of my teams and pushing them beyond what they think they can achieve.
Over the course of the last few days I have spoken to friends about what is happening and I know a thought that always goes through the minds of people is if something bad happens, do I have the support of people. Do you have acquaintances or do you have those “ride or die” friends. I can say that without a shadow of a doubt, my circle is the latter. I have a lot of acquaintances and colleagues that I do not necessarily let into my inner circle. But I am confident that my circle is filled with those that will come to my aid at the drop of a hat. No questions asked. They look out for my best interests even when I do not. This is a test of resilience. Not just on myself, but on the network that I have created for myself. So far I know that my network is stronger than most. At this moment in time I am not worried about my illness or what happens.
What my perspective has been is how do I develop others. How can I pursue opportunities that arise while I am going through treatment. I have started to extract myself from day to day operations and will focus on strategic work and development. How do I setup others for success when I am not at my fullest. I thought of how to mentor people at work. I thought of utilizing the skills of my youngest to help with cooking when I can not taste. The nuanced description of how Olivier describes food is amazing, let alone for a kid his age.
What is important is the community that you immerse yourself in. Support groups exist to help those who may struggle to find a supportive community locally accessible. I go through all of my trials and tribulations knowing that I have a community that will catch me if I fall. This allows me to focus on my daily anchor and concentrate on what have I done today to leave the world in a better place. What knowledge have I imparted to others. As an academic I have an innate desire to test and question systems in the pursuit of knowledge. I am accountable to all my friends and family to lead by example, showing resilience that outlasts any odds.