Day 82 – 2.02.82 – Family

I am not a very emotional person and normally emotions do not impact me that much, but on Friday when I was randomly listening to songs, a song came on that made me appreciate my wife. The song was from Griffen & Slander – All you need to know (ft. Calle Lehman), and it is about a couple that met when they were young and it shows progression to when they are old and how the husband supports the wife. The lyrics and video show how through anything bad that happens, put it all on the your loved one and they will always be there to support you. The only thing that they need to know is that the person will always be there, that even if it is repeated a thousand times, that they will always be there. Throughout this journey Mel has taken on a much larger load than really anticipated. She is running the house being a mother and doing all of the chores for the house as well as being a caretaker for me. It is a lot of work and I am sure it is not easy. We have a lot of help from friends and family, but a lot of it is on her. I am not a very good patient and do not always listen to the advice of doctors.

I started working today and it is quite fatiguing sitting at the desk all day long. I am not yet eating properly as I am still adjusting to that. I need to basically be constantly eating every ten minutes or so almost all day. Mel has to make sure we have things in the house that allows me to do that. I can not eat very large portions and with the size of my stomach it makes things interesting.

Coming home the kids seem taller than when I left, even though I was only gone for 4 or 5 days. When I came back they did not respond too much to it as they were playing video games with their uncle. Olivier is very creative and spends a lot of his time playing Lego and making creative things. Over the week while I was gone the grand parents were helping out. They thought that they could use discipline and strict rules to make sure that he does what he should. This does not work. He only responds to external reinforcement either positive or negative. If there are no consequences to his actions he tends to not care. If he is going to get something he enjoys or you take away something important to him he will act. All of that aside, he appreciates the little things and will give me hugs and tell me that he loves me. If he thinks you are sad he will come up and give you a hug and say that he loves you. I appreciate those little gestures.

Xavier is different. If Mel tries to complain about me leaving something, Xavier is there to help clean up and be on my side. On occasion I will leave the table and Mel will ask why I did not bring my plates into the kitchen. Xavier will grab my dishes quickly and defend me to Mel saying that I did. Any ridiculous story that I come up with, Xavier will always back me up and elaborate with it. It is a lot of fun. He is responsible and mature enough that we let him do what he needs to without to much guidance. His biggest downside is his anxiety with the unknown. He needs everything planned. If Mel is not home and it is me and the kids, he takes responsibility with helping out his younger brother with his school work. I think it stresses him out a lot when Olivier does not do what he is suppose to do.

Q