Body dysmorphia is an intereseting phenomena and it is common among people with eating disorders. I have a better understanding of how those people view their own body. For the last 6 or 7 months it has been difficult for me to look at my body as I see my rib bones protruding as well as my hip bones. It was difficult because I was quite skinny and it seemed so odd to me to look like a skeleton. In the recent couple of weeks though, I no longer see the bones and I have muscle covering them. My face has rounded out a bit more and when I look at my body now, it is frail, but it is not remind me of a skeleton. It is difficult to look at yourself when your mental image of yourself and reality do not match. It is even more difficult when it may be due to chemical imbalance in your brain or some sort of societal pressure. I am slowly gaining weight and it seems to be about a pound a week, so it is something that is managable. Interestingly enough over the last couple of weeks the frequency of my eating has decreased but I seem to be eating more. My sleep pattern has returned to normal and for the most part things are back to my regular morning feeding of 3 meals before dinner. The texture of chicken right now is rather unappetizing so eating that is a bit difficult. My mother brought over some curry and I do not like eating the chicken right now, but the yams, daikon radishs and potatoes that are in it I eat easily. I need to get back in touch with the doctors in Spain to tell them that we will monitor my condition for the next cycle and then determine wehat we will do. I think that Mel wants to go back to Europe in December so she can see the Christmas market. I think that it is going to be awfully cold at that time so we will need to see what we will do. I met with ny supportive care doctor today and not much as changed so we are not going to change much for my current regime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every year on my birthday a friend of mine from the states that I have been friends with since I was 18 sends me some sort of food. She use to send various cakes and things like that, but she has sent me some meals in the last couple of years. It was convenient as we did not have anything planned for today and it was fend for yourself day. The kids ate the Vietnamese chicken wings and then each of them had pho. There is still another pho and some vermicelli. I drank the broth of both of the kids because that is what I was in the mood for. The kids have been eating food today and things are spoiled or soured and it is quite amusing to see them struggle with some of the food. I am freezing today and I was in the mood for just some broth. I really feel like making some tomato soup to eat with some of the croutons from last week. With all of the hockey this week for Xavier things will be interesting. He will walk to my parents for lunch after his session and then I will pick him up from there and we can then go back to RHP, get his equipment and then go back home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tonight the kids told Mel and myself that they miss our old kitchen. It was primarily for nostalgic reasons as they think that our kitchen now looks like a model kitchen. Growing up my dad made a lot of the various furniture and things in our house. Some of it looked nice and some were functional. I understand the nostalgia that the kids feel. There are a lot of things that I want it the same as before even if it is not functional because of the memories. The kids love aspects of the kitchen and with it so opened up now, we tend to sit around more and just chat or hang out together. It is a nice contrast to the way that our upstairs use to be. I had always said that I did not want to have a TV upstairs, but I think that we will get the Samsung The Frame so that we can have some artwork and then watch some TV occasionally. Right now with the renovations we have all the TV upstairs and it has been quite nice to watch some things upstairs. I am still a bit cognitively fatigued right now as I am having difficulty writing things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Body dysmorphia is an intereseting phenomena and it is common among people with eating disorders. I have a better understanding of how those people view their own body. For the last 6 or 7 months it has been difficult for me to look at my body as I see my rib bones protruding as well…<\/p>\n