Not taking the steroids has quite the impact. Today I was rather tired but right now I am not doing too bad. I managed to do some prep work for our lunch tomorrow and I will do some more prep work with the help of Xavier once Mel has cleaned up the kitchen slightly. It seems like a good idea to make another mess once we do clean it up a bit. Xavier was actually a lot of help with everything as right now touching cold things is very difficult for me and it is not pleasant at all. The kids need to get things out of the fridge for me and then it is ok. I am a bit concerned with the neuropathy as when my hands are cold I lose a lot of dexterity. Today it was 28 degrees and 30 degrees outside and inside our house it was 23 degrees. When winter comes i am not sure how well I am going to handle that cold while I go through treatment. I do not think that I have ever had chemo treatment during the winter months as last time it was during the summer and it is the same this time. I do have gloves where I can insert the hand warmers so that might be ok. Mel went to help out with dad and I rested for most of the day and did some things here and there. I setup the cameras for tomorrow and now I just need to mount them with the help of Mel’s father. I do not think that it will be too bad. Xavier and I also cleared out some of the brush in the back so that when I mounted the Nest camera we can see the drainage and I will also have a higher camera with solar that will allow us to monitor the yard itself. The cameras hae pan, tilt and zoom but I think that I want the camera to remain fixed and focused on the potential flood. When we are expecting rain I am going to trigger the camera so that it records continuously for the whole day. We can then see when and how bad it gets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I do not think that I ate well today, as eating has not been super pleasant. I have decreased my food intake by probably half today, and I am not sure if I should be concerned with that or not, but we will see what the impact is later on. I think it will be ok, because when I did eat I was able to eat all the food and I did not feel discomfort. It was only when I was actually eating and swallowing the food. It is hard to describe what the sensation is like, but it is not comfortable at all. Even when you chew the food a lot, it does not have the right feel. The taste and texture is off from what you expect and it throws you for a loop a bit. I wish I had the foresight to tell my parents to make me the tofu dessert, but I forgot and we will be gone on Wednesday so I do not want them to make some for me as it lasts for 5 days normally with the anount that they make me. I will get some when we return from Ottawa. Besides the fatigue things have not been too bad, all things considered. Food prep was 2 hours in the kitchen and then I spent an hour setting up the hub and cameras and then ate again, followed by pruning outside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My mother had a cousin and she had a son that was the same age as I was. I am not sure exactly if this happened before or after we left but I know that it left quite the impact emotionally on my mother’s cousin. She lives in Guelph and we use to go visit them every once in a while, and once she moved to Canada she had two kids, both girls who were slightly younger than my sister. Right now I can not remember their ages as I have lost touch with them, but I think that my sister still talks to the younger one. Every time she saw me she was sad. While trying to leave Vietnam he had died. Leaving Vietnam was not easy and there were lots of reporrts of boats sinking either intentionally, poor craftsmanship or the whether. As they were trying to escape their boat had capsized and my uncle could not save both his wife and his young child. He chose to save his wife and unfortunately the child died. I know that if something like that happened to me, I am not sure how well I could recover from that. The thought of losing one of my kids is tough. I think that is also why my parents struggle a bit. A parent should never outlive their child. Given the choice of saving your wife or your child is extremely difficult and it something that will haunt you forever. I know that it haunted her forever, as she was always so sad when she saw me. She would wonder how he would turn out, I was big as a teenager and I wonder if we would have been close or not. Stories like this are not the exception, but the norm in situations like this. As much as people talk about my resiience and strength, I know that this is something that I would struggle with and I do not know if I could make the same decisions as my parents and risk everything. Mel and I have a will and I know that she worries about what the future if something happens to both of us. I think that is why she is so concerned, that if I die, then all of the pressure is on her to make sure that the boys are ok. She is wrong though. She would not be alone, I think that the GoFundMe is a testament to the strength of our community and she would not need to do this alone. This story though is something that I always struggled with on what would I do in this situation and hopefully I will never have to make this choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even with all of the fatigue and the soreness in my bones I think that this weekend is still a positive. What I have learned is that the steroids has quite the impact. The fatigue started on Friday when I worked a bit long and as things are cumulative it impacted me today on Saturday. Me being the foolish person that I am obviously will push things more today so that when tomorrow comes and we have people here all day I am going to be super tired and end up napping as soon as people leave. I have a friend that is supposed to come over and take my knives to get sharpened as they are getting dull. Mel should wake me up if I am sleeping at the time and I will go see him and chat with him. We have confirmed the effectiveness of the steroids and what happens when I do not take them. The benefit of not taking them though is that it seems that I sleep better, but today I had to get up several times to pee. It may not be that I sleep better and I am delusional, but that is ok. The kids rallied and helped us clean up the house for tomorrow and Xavier does not complain when I ask for assistance which is nice. There is the final food prep tonight for tomorrow. The morning should be simple and quick if I do most of the prep tonight. I setup Mel’s remote control for her camera and charged both of her batteries instead of just one that she did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Right now I am not sure if I could survive without Mel. I do not know what medication i need to take at each time and it requires me to call her to ask her. I also struggle with some food prep and she is always willing to help me out with it and make sure that I am doing ok. In the rare occasions when I have breakdown beacuse things are tough, even if we had an argument prior she drops it all and comforts me and assures me things will be ok. She says that she would not be able to go through all of this like I have, but I think that I can only do it because I have such a great support system. Mel has kept the house running doing all of the chores and makes sure all of our needs are met. Olivier requires ice every night, Xavier requires a live target to punch and I need a PSW at times to help out with things. Our life has changed so drastically in the last year to now, and our house has will have gone a complete renovation. I am slowly getting back to normal, but with a lower ability to do things. Once I can get all of this stabilized I might try and start doing some light workouts with Xavier to help build up some strength slowly. Maybe one day I will be able to ditch the electric wheelchair completely and go on a hike again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Quoc Hao<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Not taking the steroids has quite the impact. Today I was rather tired but right now I am not doing too bad. I managed to do some prep work for our lunch tomorrow and I will do some more prep work with the help of Xavier once Mel has cleaned up the kitchen slightly. It…<\/p>\n